At 145000 miles my 2001 Odyssey would not shift from 2nd to 3rd. Took it into the local Honda dealer for service. Discussed a goodwill warenty. Was denied by the district service manager. Had records from that same dealer that had serviced the van for 12 years before I purchased it a few months ago. Their records indicated that all maintanance had been done on schedule and always followed their reccomendations. Could not even get them to match the price of the local transmission shop, that has an amazing reputation.
I hope you did not purchase your van from a "friend." Many of us (myself included) had traumatic failures on the transmission - resulting in having to do something quick. Others (myself included) noticed different shift patterns - resulting in going to a mechanic and having the bad news delivered that the transmission was in the early stages of failing.
The person who sold you the van may have had the "premonition" that it was time to move on. In that case, you are the unlucky victim of the poor Honda transmission design. Mine is a 2002. First failure at 105,000. Second one at 141,000. I got a remanufactured Jasper transmission in 2008 (after a failerd Honda rebuild in 2006) and the car runs today with 252,000.
Honda will not help you - ever. They wish you would move on and forget this chapter in your life. They just want to sell cars. There is NO good will. Read all the posts on this site - that you can afford to. You can junk it. Or you can fix it. Get some quotes from reputable transmission shops. And get a quote from Jasper. They rebuild their transmissions in Jasper, Indiana, and they use local mechanics to install them. Honda's warranty is 3yr/36,000 miles. Jasper is 3yr/100,000 miles. Others may do better.
You have a good car with a good motor and a bad transmission. Next move is up to you. BUT, don't go back to Honda!!! They don't deserve your business. And - whoever sold you the van is not your friend either.
It was from a friend, and I have known them longer than they owned the van. They just could afford to upgrade so they did. They even gave us a great deal on it, even after the cost of the new tranny. Just wish Honda would stand by their product. This is my first and last Honda. Going back to Toyota with the next car.